Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
