do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
