I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
