I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Randomize
