It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
