problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
