NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
The air taste purple.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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