I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
