He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
