ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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