I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
