why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
love makes seman taste better
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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