My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you win again, gameday.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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