my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize