dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
