If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize