i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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