Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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