I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
