I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
its not stalking. its research.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
