I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We were destined to go to rehab together
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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