I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
