So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
