getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
