So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
