Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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