O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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