that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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