Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
