I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize