i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
