Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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