For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize