We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
