The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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