I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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