Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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