Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I wish i was in the wii world.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
