this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
