I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
