Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
