why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
