a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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