I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
