I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
