Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
