Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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