Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
