I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
