we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
