I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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