I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
