All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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