can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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