So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Randomize
