he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Randomize
