just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
