So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
