it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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