Pappa wants mamma naked
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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