I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
