All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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